MY PRUNING SEASON - Deacon Migena Kocaj

January is pruning month. The timing is unintuitive. The trees and plants are at their weakest, having lost leaves and beauty, branches dried from the cold—wind, rain, and snow beating on them. Old, dry hydrangea flowers hang limp, a reminder of their former glory in the past season.

And then comes pruning, and the plant is left at its bare minimum. Only what is healthy and has potential for productivity remains attached.

Our life’s seasons are not necessarily related to the weather and may not have such a strictly timed rotation. The pruning for us may not be as rhythmic as expected. It can be quick and often, and sometimes deep and long.

This time, for me, the cuts were bone-deep—limbs off.

Troubles and suffering in our life are not a matter of if but when they come. The real question is How will we handle them? What will we be abiding in and holding onto? That what will either break us or save us.

"I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world." — John 16:33

This was not my first season experiencing radical pruning.

God continually reminded the Israelites to remember and retell the story of their deliverance—how He brought them out of slavery, led them through the wilderness, and into the promised land through much power and many miracles.

"And you shall remember the whole way that the Lord your God has led you these forty years in the wilderness, that he might humble you, testing you to know what was in your heart, whether you would keep his commandments or not." — Deuteronomy 8:2

Likewise, the Psalms are filled with encouragement for those suffering, reminding them of who God is and what He has done:

"Has God forgotten to be gracious? Has he in anger shut up his compassion?
Then I said, 'I will appeal to this, to the years of the right hand of the Most High.'
I will remember the deeds of the Lord; yes, I will remember your wonders of old.
I will ponder all your work and meditate on your mighty deeds.
Your way, O God, is holy. What god is great like our God?" — Psalm 77:9-13

I had seen the Lord keep me and save me through the deep waters of my life before. I remember Him showing up and intervening on my behalf for His glory. That record became my strongest anchor through life's distractions. It became the leading light through clouds of doubt, the holding hand through loud thunder, the comforting presence through the pouring tears.

I had seen the Lord before, and I couldn’t unsee Him anymore.

That assurance became my life ring. It led me to safety. And I know He will again provide for me: manna in the desert, a pillar of light through the night, and a guiding cloud by day.

Proven over and over: when it’s Him that we seek, Him we will see.

Pruning season may not be over. Whatever must be cut from me, take it away, Lord. I know each cut will bring a tear, but You will wipe away each of them.

I choose You. Help me to keep choosing You.

"Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me." — John 15:4

I don’t journal. I wish I had the capacity to do so—especially in times of trial when so much is happening.

But during this recent pruning season, the Lord resurrected an old gift. I wrote a lot of poems.

May you enjoy these couple of chosen ones and find in them encouragement for your storms as well.

HUMBLED

Before every tongue will confess

and every knee will bow,

Ongoing and long is the process:

I’m not God, but you are.

I don’t need to know every station

to jump on your bus.

I treasure your final destination

for the ride in you to trust.

Faith is harder than control.

Submission harder than power.

But much more wonder in it all,

such awe and peace every hour.

Who holds the purpose, its extent?!

Who gives value to every deep breath?!

The one who holds beginning and end,

Himself humbled to the point of death.

FOR NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE WITH YOU

Praying for life-giving faith

Over suffocating fear

For nothing is impossible with you.

Praying for life lessons

Over trauma for life.

For nothing is impossible with you

To work on my log

and not on the others spec obsess.

For nothing is impossible with you.

Praying thoughts of mercy

to lead much ahead than sacrifices.

For nothing is impossible with you.

To be prompt to forgive and believe

Over the ruins of doubt.

For nothing is impossible with you.

Praying for Hope of glory

Rising over the hurt of sin

For nothing is impossible with you

Praying ……………..

…………………………. you.

………………………….. you.

SOJOURNER

So, I’ll pick up my things and go

to the new spot you’ve assigned me.

A new place I’ll make my home,

wherever your presence comes to be.

My dowry chest will carry again

silly earthly treasures of my family.

Heavier each time with new keepsakes.

Until I drop them all for rest in eternity.

I’ll plant a new garden, new memories.

New roots to shoot, new fruit to give.

Over and over ready to do it again

Until I reach the city where you live.

From Dust to Resurrection: Embracing Grief and Hope this Ash Wednesday

Reflection Thoughts

Ash Wednesday isn't a day I've ever celebrated before. I didn't grow up in a liturgical Christian tradition. If I'm honest, the morbidity of it has always pushed me away. On Ash Wednesday, the priest draws a cross on your forehead out of ashes saying "From dust you came and to dust you shall return." A sign of death is on your head as you begin the next 40 days of Lent. I don't like to think about death; it scares me. I don't like to think about my mortality or impending end date. I don't know many who do. 

Sadly, however, death is our one absolute. It is the great equalizer as Kilroy J. Oldster said. We all will die. All people before us have died. To be human is to be mortal. James says in 4:14 that we are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.

American culture doesn't like the concept of mortality. Health and wellness is a billion-dollar industry. Eat healthy, get enough exercise, drink lots of water, and make sure to sleep at least 8 hours a night. Use clean ingredients in food, makeup, and clothing. Don't use plastic dishes or Tupperware. Get outside, take regular vacations, get acupuncture, use the sauna, or do a cold plunge. The list goes on and on. These things are not bad. Most (maybe all) are very healthy, but the motivation to add extra years to our lives distracts from the much less exciting truth: we do not have the control we think we do. Our days are numbered.

I have had to consider death much more this past year than I ever have in my life. After my 4-year-old son was diagnosed with leukemia, the veil between life and death got thinner. Not only did I have to grapple with a life-threatening diagnosis inside my own family, I was now thrown into the cancer world at Seattle Children's Hospital. All of the new friends I have made over this past year also have a very sick child. I'm no longer insulated from the reality of death like I was before. 

To be clear, this is gut-wrenching. I would take the insulation back any day. I wish no one had to lose a loved one or even fear losing a loved one. Death is awful. It goes against the very fiber of how God intended the world to be. In Encounters with Jesus, Tim Keller sheds light on the scene in John 11 when Jesus resurrects Lazarus from the tomb. Verse 35, shows that Jesus wept for Lazarus; in verse 38, Jesus came to the tomb "deeply moved." There is a Greek word in this phrase that means "to bellow with anger." He's livid. Jesus is furious at death itself. It's not how it's supposed to be and Jesus is not ok with it. 

Ash Wednesday is a day to come face to face with this horrendous truth. We all will die. We are fragile, vulnerable, and finite. There is no escaping it. Our response should not be apathy. Instead, our response should be modeled after Jesus. First, weep. Let yourself grieve death. Whether that's a personal grief of someone you've lost that you love or a general grief at the state of the world. Joel calls us to put on sackcloth, mourn, and wail. Don't move past this. Sit in it. And secondly, get mad. Get mad at the suffering, sin, death, and brokenness that you see around you. Get mad that kids get cancer, and that people lose their spouses, parents, grandparents, and children. Get mad that people's bodies are broken and that they live their lives with chronic pain. Get mad that people harm each other and take lives that are not theirs to take. Jesus rages over death. We should too. 

I encourage you this Ash Wednesday to take time out of your regular schedule to feel this weight as a family. Kids feel deep sadness too and can benefit from having space to acknowledge it. It is important to honor grief rather than move right to the uplifting stuff. Easter is coming, but first Lent. Before we can truly rejoice at the eternal life Jesus offers us through the cross, we must first accept our mortality. Ash Wednesday is the day to start the Lenten period of fasting. It makes us face our mortality and finitude. We are not God. We are human. From dust we came and to dust we shall return. 

Worship Instructions

(To be followed alone, as a family, or in a small group)

Read: Joel 2:12-17

Speak: something that you're choosing to lament this year. Light a candle to signify the importance of grieving what burdens you today.

Pray: whether you're alone or in a group, pray aloud. Pray a prayer of lament for the suffering in our world, for our mortality as humans, for sin, and the start of this Lenten season. 

Additional Resources

If you're interested in reading more about Lent, here are some devotional guides to study: 

Kate Bowler (devotional with a poetic style) https://katebowler.com/seasonal_devotional/the-hardest-part/

Tim Keller (theological, Biblical study) https://gospelinlife.com/devotional/lent/

Esau McCauley (physical book on Lent as a whole) https://esaumccaulley.com/books/lent/

Advent : Get Your Hopes Up

By: Anna Palfreeman

I sit down to write this blog in the midst of the advent season. Advent is a relatively new part of my Christmas tradition. As a child, we didn’t have an advent calendar. As an adult, however, it’s become my children’s favorite part of Christmas. My daughter Cassidy recently told me that she liked advent more than Christmas morning and it got me thinking. Why would she like the season of waiting more than the day of presents, treats, and family? What is it about waiting that increases our joy?

Easter also has a waiting period before it called Lent. Lent is a time to deny yourself regular pleasures in order to enter into Jesus’s sufferings. It reorients our values and desires and draws our eyes up to Him. Since I’ve started observing Lent, I’ve noticed that my appreciation and thankfulness for Easter has significantly grown.

Similarly, Advent is a period of waiting before Christmas, but the waiting is different than it is in Lent. Advent builds anticipation. It’s meant to get your hopes up. He’s coming! He’s here to save the world! I don’t know about you, but I struggle with getting my hopes up. As a kid, I often felt disappointed on Christmas. The anticipation felt like it led to a letdown after opening presents and feeling like the gifts didn’t live up to my expectations. Which, of course, is correct. Material possessions can never fill the deep longing in our hearts for joy, satisfaction, love, and fullness.

Advent is getting your hopes up about the One who can fulfill them. Eternal God didn’t stay separated from his people. He came down. He entered in. Emmanuel—God with us. Sin is still real. Grief is still heartbreaking. Death is still prevalent. But we’re not alone. He’s with us. And he will never leave us.

So get your hopes up. This Christmas season, I encourage you to lift your expectations up to the Heavens. Let the presents and food and family be a piece of your joy, but don’t let it be the end of it. Jesus is with you. You are not alone. Praise be to God.

Corporate Fasting Pt 2

By: Pastor Zane Sporleder

As some of us prepare to fast, I wanted to give some resources and prompts to help guide our time. I hope they prove helpful but not restrictive as you seek God through prayer and fasting.

Friday: Mourning

I’d encourage you to spend the majority of the day mourning the sin and suffering in your life, and in the world around you. Fasting today can act as a way of identifying with pain.

Prayer regarding sin:

Come, Blessed Spirit, author of all grace and consolation. Show me my sin in all its worst colors, that I may feel an unwavering hatred of it. Show me the majesty and mercy of God, in such a way that my heart will be alarmed and melted. Convince me, oh, you Blessed Spirit, of sin, righteousness, and repentance. Show me that I have undone myself, but that my help is found in God alone, and God through Christ, in whom he alone will extend compassion and help to me. Show me the power of Christ to save! I teach my faith to see him, extended on the cross, arms, open wide, with a pierced, bleeding side, tell me what room is in his heart for me. May I know what it is to have my whole heart subdued by love, so subdued as to be crucified, with Christ, to be dead to sin, and dead to the world, but alive to God through Jesus Christ. May I confide in his power and love. May I commit my spirit to him without reserve. May I bear his image, observe his loss, and pursue his service. And through time in eternity, may I remain a monument of power of the gospel, and a trophy of his victorious grace. Oh, blessed God, if there’s any secret sin yet lurking in my soul, anything, I have not, sincerely renounced, show me and tear it out of my heart - even if it has shot its roots ever so deep, and wrapped them all around, so every nerve would be pain by the separation. Tear it away, Lord, by your graciously severe hand. By degree, by speed, perfect what is still lacking in my faith. Accomplish in me all the good pleasure of your goodness. Enrich me, heavenly father, with all the grace of your spirit. For me into the complete image of your dear son. And then, for his sake, come to me, and manifest your gracious presence in my soul, until it is ripened for glory.  Amen. – Philip Doddridge. 

Prayer regarding suffering:

Gracious Lord! Nothing can reconcile us to you better than to humbly and patiently learn obedience in the school of suffering. We learn by knowing that Jesus, though you are the Son of God, in the eternity of your nature you were pleased in your human nature to learn obedience by the things which you suffered. Precious Jesus! To your love and your grace, be all praise and glory! Nothing can reconcile us to you better than to humbly impatiently, learn obedience in the school of suffering. We learn by knowing that Jesus, though you are the son of God, and eternity of your nature, you were pleased in your human nature to learn obedience by the things which you suffered. Precious Jesus! To your love, and your grace, we all praise and glory. Under your banner of love alone we are more than conquerors. Come then, Blessed Lord, in all your faithfulness. I desire only you. With my soul, I have desired you in the night. And now, with the first dawn of the day, I seek you early. Surely, when you come, as I know, you will come, you will indeed and in truth be the tree of life. My soul is now opened by you to meet you. So, Lord, show me your person, glory, grace, and love, and fill every portion of my heart. As I wait for your coming, I pray that my view of your grace and sense of my own unworthiness may melt my whole soul before you and your presence. And how refreshing it is to know that, “since the children are sharers in flesh and blood, you also yourself likewise took part in the same things.” so when my poor heart is afflicted, when Satan storms, or the world frowns, when I suffer sickness, or when all your waves and storms seem to go over me, what relief it is, to know that you, Jesus, see me. And that you care! So help me, Lord, to look to you, and remember you. And oh! That blessed scripture: “in all their affliction he was afflicted, and the angel of his presence saved them. And his love, and in his pity, he redeemed them; he bore them and carried them all the days of old period.” Amen. – Robert Hawker

Readings: Exodus ch.20, Matthew ch.5-7

Prayer prompts:

• Ask the Lord to reveal sin in your life

• Mourn and repent of known sin

• Recall Jesus’ perfect obedience to the law on our behalf and his grace to save (2 Corinthians 5:21)

• Ask the Lord to reveal significant suffering we’ve had to endure

• Mourn the suffering

• Recall Jesus’ suffering on our behalf and his empathic nature (Hebrews 4:5, Isaiah 53)

• Ask the Lord to help you forgive and seek reconciliation for sin and suffering where applicable

• Ask the Lord to bring to mind those in your life (family, church, friends, neighbors, etc) struggling with sin and suffering

• Pray on their behalf

• Recall the evils of this world and pray for Jesus to come and restore all things

Saturday: Guidance

I’d encourage you to spend the majority of the day seeking direction and wisdom from God for you, your family, and God’s people. Fasting today can act as a reminder of your need for God and his word more than earthly provision.

Prayer regarding guidance:

Lord, I submit myself and all that I have to serve you. I admit that I give you only with is your own to begin with. Make me a faithful steward for my great Lord, I beg you. And do not let me consider my own interests, those opposing yours. I adore you, God of all grace! Let me feel a love for others rise in my soul. Open my heart so I may reach out to serve. Help me to be fair and thankful in determining what is my own share - The portion you intend for me and my family. For the rest, help me to faithfully, cheerfully, and wisely distribute your bounty to those who need it most. Guide my hand, ever-merciful Father! I am honored to be your instrument. And if it is your gracious will, would you also multiply the seed sown and prosper me in order that I may have even more to give to those in need? And then would you lead me on to the place of unlimited plenty and compassion, where I may see many that I had helped on earth. And if it is your will also many of those whom I introduce to saving faith. They will entertain me in their home of glory! In time and eternity, Lord, accept the praise of all, through Jesus Christ, at whose feet I would bow. And in the end, after I have run my course, I will die at his feet, worshiping him then with sincere humility and gratitude as if for the first time. Amen. - Philip Doddridge

Readings: Philippians ch, Romans ch12, Acts 13:1-3, Acts 14:21-25

Prayer prompts:

• Recall the many ways God has been gracious to you

• Ask God to remind you of ways in which he has sovereignly provided for you in the past

• Praise him for his goodness

• Ask God to reveal your gifts and talents

• Ask God for clarity in how to use your gifts to build up the body and share your faith

• Pray for God to establish your steps and guide you to honor him most fully

• Pray for God’s providence to guide you into a fruitful and joyful season

• Recall the many ways God has blessed you and others through his church

• Ask God to reveal ways he’s used you to bless and build up his church

• Praise him for his goodness

• Pray that God would allow his church to be a city set on a hill. To be salt and light.

• Ask the Lord for guidance and wisdom for The Vine Church, it’s leaders and members

• Pray for God to establish our steps and guide us to honor him most fully

• Pray for God’s providence to guide us into a fruitful and joyful season

• Ask the Lord to bring to mind churches to pray for in our region and around the world

• Pray for the Gospel to advance in our nation and around the world

• Pray for Christ return quickly and make all things new

Additional resources on fasting:

https://www.desiringgod.org/interviews/what-is-the-purpose-of-fasting

https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/fasting-for-beginners

https://www.desiringgod.org/interviews/why-do-christians-fast

https://thevinenw.com/blog (Scroll down to Anna's Blog on Lent)

Corporate Fasting Pt 1

By: Pastor Zane Sporleder

Fasting is a practice that God’s people have participated in for thousands of years. It is shown, encouraged, and commanded in scripture as a way of physically connecting to spiritual realities. As the summer comes to a close, would you consider fasting in preparation for what God has for you and our church in the coming season?

Two primary reasons for fasting shown in the scripture are: mourning and seeking God’s wisdom. I would like to encourage a fast in order to connect and pray through these two themes.

There is much to mourn about in the world we live in. Sin and suffering abound and yet often times we become distracted and dulled to these realities. Fasting can be a way of intentionally and physically putting on suffering to help us identify with the sin and suffering all around us. Connecting with these realities by denying a bodily need such as food, can heighten our awareness of the suffering and sinful patterns in our own lives and the world around us. When our sensitivities are awakened, we then can seek peace, restoration, repentance and are encouraged to cry out to God for help and healing.

Likewise, the world we live in can be confusing. Competing voices, lust of the flesh, and elevation of self can make hearing from God very difficult. Our heart may be willing to follow him, but we’re not sure what's true and what’s a lie, what's of God and what is our own thoughts drowning out the Spirit. Fasting, by withholding a bodily need can help us remember our reliance on God alone to sustain us. By denying our bodies food, we may more rightly be able to say with Jesus, “My food is to do the will of Him who sent me and to accomplish his work”. Often times in scripture God’s people would fast in seeking His will and I think it remains a helpful practice as we desire to seek His will and follow Him.

Because of these two primary themes seen in fasting, I’d like to encourage a corporate two day fast. The first day focusing on mourning, repenting, and crying out to God for restoration. The second day focusing on seeking His will for your life and the Church of God. 

I am planning on fasting Friday the 25th and Saturday the 26th and breaking my fast at communion on Sunday, with the church lunch to follow. I would love it if those from our church would join me in any way that you're able and see fit. There are many variables that can effect participation in this fast. Schedule, health, age, etc are all things to consider when deciding if and how you might join in this fast. I hope you feel freedom and encouragement to seek God and not to just check a box. If these dates don’t work for you, fasting on a different day or week  is still a great option. Also, fasting will look different for everyone. I don’t recommend complete abstinence of food for children, pregnant women, those on medication, etc, but that doesn’t mean you can't participate. Skipping one meal, cutting out sweets, or getting calories through nutrient rich drinks can be great ways to participate while making sure you’re not taking unnecessary risks.  Likewise, there are other ways to participate in fasting that don’t include food at all. Fasting from spending money, technology or other modern conveniences can help you identify with suffering and provide more time for you to connect with Christ. I hope this can be a time of spiritual renewal for each of us and our church as we close out the summer and enter into the fall.